I’m feeling extremely, unbearably so unproductive lately. And it’s not even funny. Being ‘unproductive’ is NEVER a good thing. Trust me. It doesn’t get you anywhere nor does it gives you with anything useful. I feel like vomiting when I come to think of it. Seriously. I’m sensitive when it comes to this kind of issue. No kidding. 

However, I have been severely guilty. It’s never intended, I just feel so not motivated to do anything nowadays. I can’t help but feeling so down. I watched Oprah on TV the other night, she talks about why some people always tend to be so deeply depressed for most of their time. The funny thing is, all of Oprah’s guest on that particular topic is all women. No men. As I stayed tune to it, turns out that they’re actually discussing about ‘menopause’. They mentioned about people getting hot flashes at night, mental depressions, being impatient, fatigue etc.. And I paused & start questioning myself, am I going through menopause too?! Wait. Do men undergo menopause too? Do correct me if I’m wrong.

Speaking of the symptoms, I recall having hot flashes at night but not frequently, I’m always thinking too much about EVERYTHING which eventually ended being depressed (of course), and I’m quite lethargic at times. But the big question is, are all of these stuffs that I mentioned really prove that I am going through it? Or am I just suffering from depression? Frankly, I was slightly surprised. And… a little embarrassed. I mean, I’m a 19 year old boy, a teenager, and I’m suffering from menopause (which males don’t undergo) ?!! It’s crazy right. Anyway, despite everything, I am trying my best to keep everything together at the moment.

I couldn’t be that fragile. Can I? *head scratching*